We previously ran down a list of signs that your guy is getting ready to pop the question. It might be obvious when your man is head over heels for you. But when you’ve just started dating, it can be harder to tell if a guy is really into you or not. Luckily, there are many subtle body language cues that reveal he’s just not that into you, if you know what to look for. The more of these you notice, the sooner you should back away and find someone who truly values you. Here are 11 body language signs he’s just not that into you.
1. He seems distracted
Is he looking at you? If not, what is he looking at? Perhaps he’s watching other people, particularly other women? Or is he constantly looking at his watch, or his cellphone, or that weird pattern on the wall, or anything BUT you? There’s your sign, because if he were interested, he would be trying to connect with you on any and every level.
2. He looks at you, blankly
Conversely, if he’s looking at you but showing no emotions (or negative ones like yawning or frowning) then that’s a good sign that this is a bad match. It’s not enough for him to look at you, he has to actually see you. If he’s staring at the molecules between you and him instead, he’s not engaged at all.
3. His smile is fake
You’ll know this when you see this. Even the wait staff at the restaurant you’re on a date at will have more genuine smiles than Mr. Fake. The great thing is, women are very good at spotting fake smiles, because the only thing worse than a guy not smiling is him fake smiling, since that means he has an ulterior motive.
4. His body language is “closed”
You’ve probably heard the term “manspreading” for guys who open their legs in public and take up a whole park bench or bus seat. It’s annoying in a stranger. But if you’re looking to connect with a man, if he has “open” body language, it means he’s literally inviting you in. Signs of “closed” body language are crossed arms, hunching over, not making eye contact, or leaning away from you.
5. He keeps touching his nose
This is a major sign: if he’s doing this along with any of the other behaviors, that he’s less than interested in you. Because constantly touching one’s nose is a subtle signal that he’s anxious or irritated. It’s a subconscious tell that can also be used to detect lies and deception. The only reason he should touch his nose is for an itch. Otherwise, he’s giving away his true feelings in a very telltale action.
6. He doesn’t touch you (or want to be touched)
This will become evident really quickly if he doesn’t hold hands or touch your shoulder. And forget about cute behavior like playful pokes or tousling your hair. If you try to initiate touching and he draws back, that’s a huge red flag. You should not be treated like you have terminal cooties. If he doesn’t want to touch you, or be touched, find someone who will.
7. He doesn’t make small talk
Guys who are really into you will do anything and everything to stay engaged with you. If that means small talk, then he’ll do it just to stay in your presence. If that means calling and texting frequently, he wants contact even if you’re not near each other. But if he doesn’t keep you on his mind, or him on yours, he’s just not interested.
8. He’s too familiar
The polar opposite of this is behaving like a pig. If he’s cursing, burping, farting, picking his nose, you name it, then that’s a problem — because these are behaviors you save until you’ve well-established a connection. We’re on our best behavior in the early stages of courtship. Maybe he’s trying to drive you away?
9. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes
Even the worst, stupidest joke gets a sympathy chuckle from a partner. If he actually tells you it’s stupid, or if he says to stop making jokes at all, tell him to hit the road. You may not be a comedian, but if you can’t share laughter, even embarrassed laughter, you shouldn’t be sharing anything.
10. He literally gets away from you
This covers a lot of ground. If you get out of the car and he walks ahead without waiting for you, or if he’s dropping you off at home and zooms away before you’ve even got your key in the door, or if he doesn’t sit next to you at events, those are definite signs he’s literally wanting to be everywhere else but near you.
11. He interrupts you
This is one of the most annoying things a guy can do. It says that he does not think you know what you’re talking about, or that he knows better, or that he just wants you to stop talking. Conversation is a two-way street. Interrupting you or co-opting the conversation is a big red flag. Get away from this guy before he wastes any more of your time. Remember, you deserve someone who appreciates you!